Month: February 2019

LOVE- HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

Things I Wish I Knew-005 Love- Healthy Relationships

Hi Everybody, welcome back to Things I Wish I Knew.. in this episode we will be talking at a very high level about what a healthy relationship is. 

There is a TON of information all over the web about what is NOT a healthy relationship, but not a lot about what is actually a healthy relationship. This was a request from a listener, and this is not just focused on what makes up a healthy romantic relationship.. it’s the whole shebang.. RELATIONSHIPS in general with other human beings that are healthy have a few qualities that are pretty obvious and consistent. 

  • You are growing. 
  • You are yourself.
  • You feel safe.
  • YOU ARE HAPPY!

It’s really pretty simple, we just try to make it more complicated to make square pegs fit into round holes. If you are happy, IMO you are growing as a person.  Whether it be getting to know yourself better in this relationship, getting to know the person you are interacting with or professionally.. learning and living new experiences is a good thing. 

If you are yourself, you aren’t embarrassed to be yourself around these people or person and this ties into you feeling safe.. Feeling safe can go pretty deep, and can kinda be the main common denominator in the 3 qualities above. If you are happy, you aren’t scared to be yourself, if you are growing you are encouraged to take risks… which is a direct reflection of feeling safe and supported, and if you environmentally feel safe… you don’t have any doubt about your relationship’s loyalty or honesty. Therefore, you are able to be your TRUE BLUE, HONEST SELF. 

YOU ARE HAPPY! You may have down days, but you aren’t consistently unhappy with your relationships. When I’m happy I smile and laugh, and have energy. Now I know this isn’t everyone’s true test of happiness, but it’s the high level version of Happy Stacey. I know some people who are happier than a shopaholic at a Sample sale and will have the smirk of grumpy cat. This rings back to being true to yourself, know when to check in with yourself and see if you are ACTING happy. 

These qualities are typically just ignored when we want to hold onto am unhealthy relationship. Most people, even myself have been in a situation where they try to look away from the bad, and weigh on the scales of our own personal justice system as to whether it is toxic/unhealthy. 

IN CONCLUSION, deep down you know if the relationships you surround yourself in are healthy. You just have to have the courage to be honest with yourself about them .

Please let me know if you would like to go a little bit deeper with this topic, as I could go on about what I think a healthy relationship is.. but I would love to hear your thoughts as well. 

Thanks again for listening to Things I Wish I Knew. Now go make some healthy relationship choices.  

Military Edition – Moving

Things I Wish I Knew-004- Military Version- Moving

Hi guys and gals.. welcome to Things I Wish I Knew, Military Version… specifically moving. 

Have you ever been so stressed out the impending military move, and upheaval of the life as you know it? Well… Here are few things I wish I had known about before my first military relocation with my husband. 

  • IT will TEST YOU, over and over and over
  • Your belongings will arrive later than you are promised
  • Employment might be a struggle for you, hang tough

Here’s how I would recommend handling these challenges… the uncensored, non stepford wives, staying true to yourself way… or at least how I’m handling it. 

  • Force communication, over communicate every day, every hour, every second of how you are doing. Ask for what you need emotional, physically, and honestly to your partner who is in the military. The honesty you share with them will give them opportunities to show up and be vulnerable as well. It’s not just hard on you, it’s hard on your partner because they are working with a new group of people. Trying to pretend like they have everything handled.. when actually they are pretty scared themselves. So far, I can’t think of anything that has tested our relationship more than a military move.
  • Be prepared to rent furniture, renting furniture will make it feel more like home… QUICKER, and the quicker you can adjust the quicker you will feel safe and more open to exploring your new location. We didn’t rent furniture or about 50 days out of the 77 days it took to get belongings… and that was a hard lesson learned. Saving the money wasn’t worth the level of uncomfortable we were for 50 days. 
  • Start looking at your options for employment for where you are moving, before you move. This way it won’t be a surprise when it takes a little longer than you anticipated if you are moving somewhere rural, or overseas. Start amping up your personal skills that are marketable and can be sold. I saved enough money before we moved to get my Yoga certification, so I now have my own yoga classes that I teach. I also started this podcast, and an accountability group to keep me focused on it.