Tips

Time Stamp

How scary is it to think you only have a certain amount of time to accomplish the things and experiences you want in life. How often are we told that, there is a timeline of when you should have accomplished things in your life. 

Well, I’m here to tell you the honest truth.. There kinda is. I know it kinda sucks to hear that, but I think some quality advice I can give those of you who are needing some motivation is this. You DO only have a certain amount of time to do things and experiences before you loose interest. Not because you are too old, or the opportunity isn’t still there.. but sometimes amazing experiences can pass you by if you don’t jump on them in the moment. One of my mentors said something very brilliant to me and he said “don’t rush it, or slow it down.”

If an amazing trip to India is offered, you can afford it, it won’t mess up your future career plans in a detrimental way… Go for it. If you meet someone amazing that you fall madly in love with, be in love. If you have the opportunity to advance your career, step up to the challenge. 

Do NOT turn down opportunities in life for three things:

Love

Travel

Career Growth

If you have to choose between one of the three choose what feels right in the moment. The great theory is that whatever you choose is right, because in that moment it was exactly what you want. Don’t let the fear of making the wrong choose stop you from making a decision at all. This is why you do have a bit of a time stamp on opportunities. 

Not making a decision is making a decision. It’s making the choice to not grow. 

You only have a certain amout of time before a new opportunity will present itself, and the previous opportunity is not an option anymore. You have to decide what will make you happy in that moment and go for it. Unapologetically, going for what you want in the moment will make sure that you don’t live in a what if mindset.

I’m a firm believer that your twenties are for exploring, making mistakes, falling in love, and growing. Living like this in your 30’s could potentially lead to a more interesting 40’s. So yes, you do have a little bit of a time stamp on opportunities, but the key is “don’t rush it, or slow it down” take your life in stride and live hard. 

I know this was a short episode today, but I feel like it was worth while information and pretty solid advice wrapped up into a few short minutes. As usual, if you have any questions please leave a comment at Thingsiwishiknew.life or within Itunes. 

Carpe Diem!

The Power of the P A U S E

Things I Wish I Knew-008- Communication-The Power of the P A U S E

Hi everyone, thank you for tuning in today to listen for the Things I Wish I Knew. Today we are going to talk about the Power of the P A U S E, pausing can often give you the millisecond you need to make better decisions, gain negotiating power in business transactions, and more than likely receive more information about juicy topics than you EVER anticipated. 

Controlling your ability pause instead of speaking immediately is an ART, and like any art it has to be practiced to become a habit until it becomes a norm. There will be moments where you are very uncomfortable sitting in silence waiting for someone to respond with more information, but I PROMISE if you can sit it out and wait for them to speak first you will gain the conversational leverage to gain more knowledge about the topic that interests you. This is actually a common tactic many interrogators will use. 

There are three types of social situations I’m going to talk about today where the P A U S E will benefit you. 

  • Business negotiations
  • Making friends
  • Avoiding conflict

Ok, there are many different business negotiations where stopping your communication to pause will benefit you, but the first one I’m going to focus on today is interviewing. Giving yourself the time to P A U S E gives you time to think. Giving yourself time to think provides you the opportunity to answer more effectively. You can answer more effectively because you are listening for what the interviewer is leading you to say, and not just listening to respond. 

An example, “what is a difficult situation you had with coworkers who had difference views than yourself about how to solve a problem, and how did you resolve this?” 

Take a breather, and PAUSE before you respond. Pausing gives you time to ease your nerves, and respond thoughtfully. Also, taking the pause will exemplify confidence. From personal experience… word vomiting a response is not seen as thoughtful and if too rushed can almost be seen as an interruption to the interviewer’s questions. 

The second type of social situation in which taking a P A U S E can be a great asset is one of my favorites, making friends. <3 Taking a P A U S E when meeting new people gives them time to tell you about themselves, and what they are interested in. This gives you information to relate with them and build trust. The sharing and empathizing of stories is what builds trust and security. Giving someone the opportunity to be themselves, and then relate to them with a similar story or experience because you listened carefully, and took a beat before you respond keeps the conversation flowing. I really enjoy the opportunity to pause when I meet new people, I’m always surprised with what I learn, and how much we are all alike. 

Just for keeping things even, here’s an example of taking a pause when making friends. “Hi, I’m Stacey. I just moved here from San Francisco, and I’m so excited to make new friends and surf”. 

Instead of immediately responding with, “o wow, I just moved here too”, take a beat and respond in the same structure that I spoke in. “Hi, I’m Ellen. I just moved here from Florida, and I’m so excited that I met you too”. 

I know this sounds very generic, but I promise this will build trust and keep the conversation flowing. We have both agreed we are excited, and we made common ground by having both just moved here. 

Taking a beat gives you the opportunity to respond in the same structure, and cadence.

Now onto my final knowledge nugget about how great taking a P A U S E is.  Taking a pause can help you to avoid conflict. Especially right now within our society, there are a lot of sensitive subjects that a LOT of people are very passionate about. Passionate to the point of friendly disagreements, or to full blown fights. 

Taking a moment of silence to observe a pause can help you to avoid being in an awkward social situation. Not speaking first about politics, religion, or personal preferences can give you a heads up on what kind of social environment you are in. A common misconception is that most of the people have the same views and values that you surround yourself with, at least we hope. 

However, there are moments when values and preferences aren’t the same. I tend to keep conversations about from politics and religion unless they are brought up first. If not to just pause, and get to know who I’m talking to and how to best approach my response. 

And with that.. I will now finish with a short pause, and then you for listening to Things I Wish I Knew. Please let me know what you thought about this episode in iTunes and on Thingsiwishiknew.life

First Impressions

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Hi everyone, Welcome Back to Things I Wish I Knew. You are going to absolutely LOVE todays show!! Today we are going to talk a little bit about how First Impressions. 

See what I did there? I lead you into today’s podcast with excitement in my voice, and tone. You can’t see me, but I was also smiling when I said you were going to love this show. 

This is just one type of first impression I’m going to talk about today, demeanor. This is something that isn’t taught in school, and is usually only noticed when it’s lacking. Basically, how you carry yourself is part of your greeting card of first impressions. Whether it be with enthusiasm or melancholy the receiving party will develop a snap judgement about you based on your demeanor INSTANTLY! 

Had I started the show with a lower toner, and not as an explanation it could be seen as a serious show today, or something that’s not a fun topic to talk about. 

This is just one type of first impressions. 

The second type of impression I believe is that of physical appearance. 

A personal experience I recently had that lead people to develop an impression (I believe) of me was at 2 recent job interviews. As you know, I’m currently living in PR and there are a few bigger companies here that I’ve had my eye on. 

Well, I scored 2 interviews. The first one was about a month ago, and the second was last Friday. For the first interview I wore slacks, heels and a cardigan with my hair down. For the second interview I went to Marshall’s and found two new outfits that were (in my mind) more professional and feminine. I chose a black and white knee length dress and wore my hair back for the second interview. 

When I entered the building in my slacks and cardigan I was greeted, and asked to sign in as a guest and the front desk clerk asked if I was there for an interview. I smiled, and said yes.. signed in and sat down. I didn’t get that job. 

When I entered the building the second time wearing my (what I thought) conservative knee length black and white dress, with my hair pulled back in a low pony tail it was a different experience. I was greeted with a warm hello again, but was asked who I had a meeting with and what business I was with. 

JUST BECAUSE MY APPEARANCE looked more formal, and what I believe conservative I looked like I already belonged to an organization. This was a positive snap judgement, and exactly what I was going for. I wanted to look like I belonged, and I wanted to be taken seriously. 

My first impression was received exactly how I had hoped it would be received, because I did a little bit more research on how the company operated, and what it looked like from the inside last time. Very conservative, grey walls and grey cubicles. Not the color scheme of Google, where slacks and a cardigan would have been the business casual first impression I would have wanted to portray. 

Now to the FINAL first impression that is my absolute favorite. THE VIBE! I remember reading somewhere that “everyone is responsible for the energy, or lack of energy they bring to the room”. There’s also a popular saying “your vibe attracts your tribe”. I 100% believe this to be true. 

When trying to bridge the gap of communication with others it’s important to very quickly build trust, and understanding. I believe you do this by exemplifying the vibe and people that you wish to attract. 

An example of this is if you want to be seen as someone who is serious about their job, or profession then you create a persona of being serious about your craft. You take the time to do your work correctly and efficiently. You speak of positive experiences you have had within your craft, and you associate yourself with others who have like values about their craft or specialty.  

If you aren’t attracting the type of positive VIBE you want to portray, start with yourself and observing what people are doing that DO HAVE THE VIBE you wish you have. 

First impressions happen all the time, now imagine if you had control over making the best first impression in ANY situation. You would WINNER in most arenas of your life! BOOM .. 

Thank you again for listening to Things I Wish I Knew, and as always please leave your questions and reviews within ITUNES and on thingsiwishiknew.life.

BYYEE

LOVE- HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

Things I Wish I Knew-005 Love- Healthy Relationships

Hi Everybody, welcome back to Things I Wish I Knew.. in this episode we will be talking at a very high level about what a healthy relationship is. 

There is a TON of information all over the web about what is NOT a healthy relationship, but not a lot about what is actually a healthy relationship. This was a request from a listener, and this is not just focused on what makes up a healthy romantic relationship.. it’s the whole shebang.. RELATIONSHIPS in general with other human beings that are healthy have a few qualities that are pretty obvious and consistent. 

  • You are growing. 
  • You are yourself.
  • You feel safe.
  • YOU ARE HAPPY!

It’s really pretty simple, we just try to make it more complicated to make square pegs fit into round holes. If you are happy, IMO you are growing as a person.  Whether it be getting to know yourself better in this relationship, getting to know the person you are interacting with or professionally.. learning and living new experiences is a good thing. 

If you are yourself, you aren’t embarrassed to be yourself around these people or person and this ties into you feeling safe.. Feeling safe can go pretty deep, and can kinda be the main common denominator in the 3 qualities above. If you are happy, you aren’t scared to be yourself, if you are growing you are encouraged to take risks… which is a direct reflection of feeling safe and supported, and if you environmentally feel safe… you don’t have any doubt about your relationship’s loyalty or honesty. Therefore, you are able to be your TRUE BLUE, HONEST SELF. 

YOU ARE HAPPY! You may have down days, but you aren’t consistently unhappy with your relationships. When I’m happy I smile and laugh, and have energy. Now I know this isn’t everyone’s true test of happiness, but it’s the high level version of Happy Stacey. I know some people who are happier than a shopaholic at a Sample sale and will have the smirk of grumpy cat. This rings back to being true to yourself, know when to check in with yourself and see if you are ACTING happy. 

These qualities are typically just ignored when we want to hold onto am unhealthy relationship. Most people, even myself have been in a situation where they try to look away from the bad, and weigh on the scales of our own personal justice system as to whether it is toxic/unhealthy. 

IN CONCLUSION, deep down you know if the relationships you surround yourself in are healthy. You just have to have the courage to be honest with yourself about them .

Please let me know if you would like to go a little bit deeper with this topic, as I could go on about what I think a healthy relationship is.. but I would love to hear your thoughts as well. 

Thanks again for listening to Things I Wish I Knew. Now go make some healthy relationship choices.